In the Dog House

In the Dog House

Gift giving means I walk the fine line between living the dream and living in the dog house three times every year. Last December, I mentioned my $60 blender versus the $5,000 beaver blanket Christmas gift dilemma, and with the trophy wife’s birthday and our anniversary both in August, I once again found myself conflicted. For Druann’s

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Burned Twice

With 12% of our Treasure State suffering the drought of the century, over 300,000 acres of central Montana range and timberland has burned. Producers in the Missouri Breaks are a special breed, and today’s column is for those far from the fire line, but whose actions may be the death nail for cowboys struggling to survive the wildfires. Consider what

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Repeal and Replace Progressives

Repeal and Replace Progressives

America’s framers wisely designed rules limiting government power, and public servants pledge their allegiance to this national rulebook when taking their oath of office. Unfortunately, progressives immediately ignore this oath because their policies can only be advanced after destroying these constitutional restrictions. It is neither equality, nor fairness, nor diversity, nor tolerance which makes America great —

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The Dreaded Freshman Fifteens…

With summer slipping away, today’s column focuses on the dreaded freshman 15s. Yes, there are two. Few soon-to-be college freshmen consider the big 15s when pondering their future, but they should. First, I will chew the fat about the 15 with which you are familiar.

I groan when I hear advertisements warning of hungry children in America, knowing the greatest public

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Companionship…

Buckshot was a great bird dog, but his habit of swallowing [k1]odd objects shortened his career. Large rocks were his favorites, and over the years, he gave himself four mini-boulder, bowel obstructions. Every time Buckshot started vomiting, a couple abdominal x-rays quickly confirmed our suspicions. Because boulder blockages rarely correct themselves, Buckshot usually went directly from x-ray to surgery. At

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Pig Lipstick

Because it is nearly fair time, let’s talk about pigs. In Montana’s 2007 legislative session, Representative Roger Koopman dismissed the Judiciary Committee’s efforts to fix a bad bill as being “lipstick on a pig.” It was the first I had heard this expression, but it is decades old. I typically avoid repeating clichés, but this one so fits today’s topic

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Into the Depths

Last weekend, the trophy wife and I completed back-to-back marathons. The first was 26.2 miles along Lake Superior, with the second skirting the shoreline of Lake Michigan. Because I am incredibly compromising, I added one extra day to our trip for the actual tourist stuff the trophy wife insists we do. Doing nothing on purpose, with no objective, for an

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Intentionally Indoctrinating Ignorance

Decades back, I performed a necropsy on a 600-pound feeder steer that dropped dead upon exiting a farmer’s squeeze chute. The owner suspected an anaphylactic reaction to the sulfa boluses he administered, and he wanted confirmation. I sliced the steer open and discovered that he had suffered a lacerated esophagus as a calf and that, over months, a forage-filled pouch

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Great American Resurrection

Get in, sit down, shut up, and hang on, America is on track to be great again. For decades, the ruling class secured power by cultivating covetousness and promoting theft. This idolatrous worship of government placed our nation on a path to destruction, but last November, voters flipped positions to embrace the principles upon which our nation was founded. Consistent

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Making America Great Again

I was a country kid raised with rocks and slingshots rather than I-pads, Angry Birds, and Ritalin. Lucky me. Back then, gooseneck horse trailers were rare, so we hauled critters in a Curtis stock rack mounted in the back of our half-ton pickup. This pipe and expanded-metal stock rack was built by Ed Curtis of Colstrip, Montana, and its tail

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Demeaning Dead Soldiers

In 1868, General John Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic proclaimed Decoration Day to remember those who died defending “their country during the late rebellion.” Over time, the holiday was renamed Memorial Day to honor battlefield deaths in every military conflict from 1775 to the present day. The idea called America is founded on the truth that God

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Faith, Family, Freedom

The trophy wife and I zipped from Montana through eastern Oregon and back last weekend, and the countryside was green beginning to end. Because I am a country kid, whenever I see baby calves frolicking in the spring sunshine on green rolling hills, framed by snow-capped mountain peaks, I praise our Creator. Spring always sparks enthusiasm, signaling a new beginning

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Flying the Friendly Skies of United

Flying the Friendly Skies of United

United Airlines stepped in it when they dragged a reluctant and bleeding volunteer off their plane under the watchful eye of passengers bearing smart phones. Facebookers had an electronic heyday, and I too jumped on the bandwagon, but rather than the internet, I scribbled United memes on the flipside of my old campaign signs.

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Defending Liberty

We conservatives erroneously relaxed on November 9, thinking a President Trump would steer America in an entirely different direction. We best not drop our swords and shields. Clinton supporters, congressional Democrats, cocktail caucus Republicans, life-long bureaucrats, celebrity twits, BLM activists, and media propagandists were one presidential term away from collapsing our once-great republic into a North American Venezuela, and they

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April Fools' Day

April Fools\’ Day

During normal times, it would be senseless to print an April Fools\’ column the second week of April. These are not normal times. Last Saturday, social media was flooded with imaginative fabrications so preposterous that even the most gullible readers recognized them as fiction. My favorites were the Laurel City Council announcing my hometown was now a

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